Addiction

Post 8: Addiction


This is a very personal entry for me and one that I feel strongly about!


In my original post, I talked about the gambling addiction that destroyed my family fortune and left my family struggling, blue-collar workers. Gambling is one addiction that's affected my family. I've had two cousins who suffered from drug addiction. I myself have an eating addiction, especially when it comes to sweets. I can eat a ton of chocolate and go back for more.

I mentioned in a previous post that my parents were killed in an accident when I was young. The accident was caused by a drunk driver who plowed into them while driving under the influence. Alcohol is another type of very harmful addiction, and a very sore spot with me. I'm sure you can see why.

Alcohol has been a huge problem among the American Indians for two centuries, even since their subjugation by the Europeans. This affects their children because there is a high rate of fetal alcohol syndrome among the First Americans, due to depression-related-alcoholism among the women.The Lakota Indians have a saying, "Many have fallen with a bottle in their hands".

There really is no magic answer to the problem of addiction. Neither the Buddhists nor the Native Americans nor any of the other practices I experimented with had a clear solution for this. There have always been addictions and there always will be. Therefore, if we can't avoid them, how do we deal with them?

This is hard. If you've ever had someone in your family who had a substance abuse problem, you know how hard it is to deal with. Be it drugs or alcohol or gambling, the addiction turns the good person you loved into a thoughtless, obsessed stranger who is ruining your life! In some cases, people who drive under the influence will end lives, as happened with my parents.

So what do we do when this happens? What is the answer? Could even wise Buddha answer this question?

Some might say that understanding, sympathy and patience is the way to go. On the other hand, too much patience and leniency may encourage the same behavior over and over. One of my cousins has hit rock bottom several times because he knows his sister will always be there to pick him up and let him stay with her while he goes through his latest round of rehab. He knows he has this compassionate safety net, so the idea of hitting rock bottom is not so scary for him. It just becomes part of the cycle. and the responsibility falls to someone else. Perhaps if he didn't have that safety net, he would try to avoid falling off the wagon next time.

When is the time to say "Enough is enough! You're on your own!"? Should there be a limit to tolerance, even for a loved one? I don't pretend to have all the answers here because, as I said, this is a tricky issue for me, considering all my experiences with addicted people and my own obsessed sweet tooth.

You need strength to get though this. Buddha has been called "He who can forbear". If you are dealing with someone who is addicted or if you are addicted yourself, you will need to find that excess of strength that everyone has inside them. We're all stronger than we think we are. Remember 'We never know how high we are until we are called to rise!' Also, there are support programs you can go to, where you can discuss this traumatic experience with others who are going through it.

And one last thing...If you are suffering from an addiction, please don't let it become someone else's problem! Don't drag your family down! Get help! If you have a drinking problem, don't drive or you may not only end up killing an innocent person, you will also ruin the lives of the people they left behind.

If anyone out there is dealing with someone who has an addiction, or if you have an addiction yourself, feel free to contact me. I'll be happy to talk to you.

Rob